


When [Blank] was 99

by SecretlyAnonymous



Series: CACW AU with irondad and spiderson [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Mentions of Frostbite, Mentions of Violence, Prosthetics, Steve is trying, Therapy, and the long-term effects, but not in depth, hand wavey science, okay?, siberia fucked tony up, slight AU, tony/bucky friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 10:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18915319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretlyAnonymous/pseuds/SecretlyAnonymous
Summary: A lot of things had happened over the course of his life. So much stuff had happened that he didn’t even know who he was anymore.His last name is Barnes. He doesn’t think that’s changed.He isn’t Bucky, anymore, he doesn’t think. He’s definitely not the Winter Soldier.----[Blank] Barnes figuring out who he is.





	When [Blank] was 99

**Author's Note:**

> So the main difference here - mentioned in my last fic in this series - is that frostbite cost Tony some fingers. It's not really /that/ explicit, but y'know. Warning in case.
> 
> The tag ["don't copy to another site"](https://evilwriter37.tumblr.com/post/187593611275/ao3s-users-alert-unauthorised-fanworks-copying)

A lot of things had happened over the course of his life. So much stuff had happened that he didn’t even know who he was anymore.

His last name is Barnes. He doesn’t think that’s changed.

He isn’t Bucky, anymore, he doesn’t think. He’s definitely not the Winter Soldier.

In 99 years, he’d been born, raised his siblings, made friends with the small kid next door, been drafted, fought a war, got captured, experimented on, rescued, _died_ , woke up, captured again, in a Nazi facility, tortured, brainwashed, “wiped,” forced to assassinate dozens of people, including old friends of his, found another old friend, escaped the Nazis (that went by HYDRA now), tried to live free, attacked by the UN, asked to help that old friend, attacked Howard’s son, got the Winter Soldier programming removed, and moved back to New York to live with and be helped by Howard’s son.

So yeah. A lot had happened. He doesn’t even really feel human anymore, though his therapist said that might be because of the PTSD.

Tony has a habit of dropping nicknames on him, things that are reminiscent of “Bucky” or having something to do with the Winter Soldier.

It’s after the kids fifteenth birthday that he becomes more comfortable around the heroes. Peter invites him and he notices that Rhodes has braces on his legs, that Tony has red and gold where the missing fingers are.

He marvels over the prosthetics Tony’s designed, and when they become mass produced, he marvels more.

He’s in the common room on his floor when Tony walks in.

“I was thinking…” Tony says, “Do you want an arm?”

He cocks his head. “Sometimes. Why”

Tony shrugs. “I noticed your awe at mine and Rhodey’s prosthetics and was wondering if you wanted one.”

His jaw drops. “Really? You’d do that?”

Tony raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?”

“I just… I killed your parents. I tried to kill you.”

Tony snorts. “I don’t blame the gun for firing the bullet, I blame the person that pulled the trigger. HYDRA pulled your trigger, Snowflake, not you. Also, you thought I would kill you. Unlike Rogers, you had no basis on my power and you had no way to know I wasn’t trying to kill anyone.”

He can’t say anything. Tony continues, “So do you want me to make you an arm? I can do one like Rhodey’s or one like mine. Or neither, if you don’t want them.”

He tilts his head. “What’s the difference between your fingers and Rhodes’ legs?”

Tony holds up his fingers. They ripple like liquid, then melt, crawling under his sleeve. “Mine do that.”

“Woah.”

Tony smirks. “Like that? Pete and Friday helped me make them.”

He grabs for Tony’s hands. The one with the three missing fingers is the most trouble, but his other hand is missing a few fingertips too, that get the red and gold treatment.

“Frostbite. It sucks, but it did push me to design these. They’re attuned to my nervous system, so they do whatever I tell them to. The only difference between mine and Rhodey’s is that Rhodey’s don’t come off like this. So, if I made you an arm, your options are this, in which the nanobots would be held in a container to be used as you want, or an arm that’s just always an arm.”

“You can make me an arm that does this?” he asks as Tony’s fingers flow back up his arm.

Tony grins. “I’ll take that as a yes. Common, I need to take some measurements.”

Tony drags him to the lab, sitting him down on a couch.

“First question: where do you want the nanobots stored?”

He asks, “What are my options?”

Tony pulls up his shirt. “I keep mine here, where my arc reactor used to be. You could put yours wherever you want. On your stump, your heart, your neck. You could keep them in piece of jewelry, like T’Challa does with his Black Panther suit.”

“Earrings,” he says. “I’ve been wanting to get my ears pierced. Could you do it?”

Tony blinks. “Kinda small but I think so. You down for getting multiple piercings?”

He nods.

“Awesome,” Tony says, “Let’s get this first bit done, then I’ll take you to get your ears pierced.”

Tony pulls up the schematics for the prosthetic design he’s got on the market and begins making adjustments. At some point, he says, offhandedly, “I’d make these for more people, but I don’t really have the resources. I tried to return Rogers’ shield, since it was made of stolen vibranium, but T’Challa let me keep it. This is made of what’s left of it, so it’s incredibly strong.”

“Wow,” he says.

Tony nods. “Yeah. Friday, scan Icee, please.” A holographic image of him appears, and with a wave of his hand, Tony materializes the arm. “So,” he says, “Now it’s time to design your earrings.”

Tony lets him make the design, tells him not to worry about the feasibility of it, they’d figure that out later.

The end result was a lightning bolt in his earlobe, connected to a chain that led to a piercing in his cartilage. On his left ear, there is an earth, carved with all the continents and oceans. On his right ear, he has a star.

Tony smiles. “That’s really cool, actually. Let’s see.”

Tony spins his hand, and the arm ripples. It crawls up the hologram, but stops at the elbow. Tony raises an eyebrow. “You wanna add anything? You can add more earrings, or a different kind of jewelry…”

He adds a moon to the chain with the earth, and the chain on his right ear becomes all nine planets (“Pluto isn’t a planet anymore, Jamie.” “Jamie? Also, why the fuck is Pluto not a planet. What the fuck.”).

That gets the whole arm.

“I feel like these are too small for the arm,” he says.

Tony shrugs. “Basically, the arm is mostly hollow. It’s partially made of vibranium, so it doesn’t need to have so much in it to get the functions down.”

“How does it work?”

Tony’s eyes light up. A flick of his fingers and some kind of machine appears. “This is a nanobot. It’s about five nanometers. It’s made of steel, but it uses vibranium to make these _really_ strong chemical bonds – do you know anything about chemistry?”

“No.”

“I’ll get you some classes on that if you want. But vibranium is really cool because it’s _so_ receptive to electrical impulses that you can change the shape of anything with a thought.”

He’s only sort of understanding what Tony’s telling him, but the robot looks amazing.

Tony takes him to get his ears pierced the next day. His ears are bright red, but he’s got blue studs in his earlobes and gold ones in his cartilage. They see Steve on the way back.

“Bucky!” Steve exclaims, and _Bucky_ feels _wrong_ , but what else is he?

“Steve,” he says weakly. Steve moves to give him a hug and he lets him. His hair is brushed aside and Steve says, “what are these?” quietly, like there’s something wrong.

He smiles anyways and says, “I just got them pierced. Like them? Tony picked out the blue ones for me.” He gestures at Tony, standing off to the side.

Steve’s smile becomes strained. “They’re great. Umm… why?”

His smiles drops for a moment, but he pulls it back up. “Tony’s makin’ me an arm that can do some cool things, including change shape. Imma store it in earring form when I’m not using it.”

Tony raises a hand. His red-and-gold fingers ripple away like they did when Tony was showing him what the nanobots did. “I’ve just gotta finish the programming for the nanobots, sync them up to Jamie here, then we’ll spend a few weeks teaching him to control them. By the time he’s got that mastered, he should be able to take these out and put in his own.”

Steve stops pretending to be happy and scowls at Tony. “His name’s Bucky.”

He’s taken aback. “My name is whatever the fuck I want it to be, thanks.”

Steve blinks. “What?”

“My name. In case you forgot, my legal name is James. Bucky’s a nickname. So’s Jamie. So, yeah, my name is whatever the fuck I want it to be. He’s called me Jamie before and I haven’t stopped him.”

Steve doesn’t seem to know what to do.

Jamie(? He’s not sure but he likes it more than _Bucky_ ) sighs. “Look, Steve.” Steve’s eyes jump from Tony to Jamie. “It’s difficult to explain. But I’m not your “Bucky” anymore. I’m not sure who I am, and Tony’s giving me the space and resources to figure that out.”

“But…” Steve tries, “You’re _Bucky_. You helped take care of your family and kept me alive when my mom wasn’t there. You enlisted in the army –”

“– was drafted, actually, but continue.”

“You fought in the biggest war in history. You’re my best friend.”

“All of that is true,” Jamie acknowledges, “But that’s not all of me. Seventy years passed in the blink of an eye for you, but I was _awake_. I really am a hundred years old and _Bucky_ doesn’t exist in the same way you’re used to. I’ve _changed_ Steve. And I need to figure out if I’m James or Bucky or Jamie or even something like _Winter_ because I’m _so_ different. You need to let me find myself or you’re harming us both.”

Steve deflates. “Okay. Okay.”

Jamie smiles softly. “Thank you.”

Later, when they’re alone, Tony says, “That worked. I’m amazed. It’s never worked with me before.”

Jamie chuckles and says, “It’s probably nostalgia. He doesn’t want to lose me.”

Tony snorts, almost missing Jamie’s shoulder as he tries to attach the prosthetic arm.

“Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”


End file.
